No-One Can Replace You'
by hollie-x
Summary: Ste is in hospital and Brendan needs to tell him how he really feels :(


**No-One Can Replace You**

_Warning: There Are A Few Hints Here About What May Happen Next Week/The Week After. I Have Also Made Up A Few Bits :) Written In Brendan Brady's POV_

_I Do Not Own These Characters, They Belong To Hollyoaks Blah Blah :)_

I sat there in the car. It felt like hours but he had gone, disappeared. This had been my routine for days now. I would get to the hospital for about 7pm, park up somewhere near the entrance, but hidden in the same sense so a certain American couldn't spot me. He wouldn't know what my number plate was anyway, I just couldn't let him see my face. How can you possibly explain why you was secretly visiting your ex without admitting your real feelings? I love him, I've never stopped. I just wanted to know he was okay, it wasn't like Douglas would tell me if I asked in the street and even so he would probably lie to my face and make up loads of shit to stop me seeing his 'husband'. Steven Hay, my Steven Hay.

I slowly sneaked past the reception desk, as it was well past visiting hours now and only 'next of kin' would be allowed in anyway. I don't even know how they define Douglas as next of kin apart from having a ring on his finger obviously but I know more about Steven than he does. He invited his mum to the village for fucks sake! See I'm no einstein, but if someone hasn't had contact with their parents for over three years I'd smell something fishy wouldn't you?

Walking along the corridor I was reminded why I hate hospitals. People crying in the corridors, seriously lacking on sleep, worrying about their loved ones. I was doing that aswell, but in private. I wasn't allowed to show my feelings, I wouldn't even let anyone see my feelings to be honest, but Steven needed to know what they were whether he was 'awake' or not. My thoughts darted back to my conversation with Father Des. _'Love is beautiful.' _It is beautiful, Steven's beautiful and in another life _we_ could be beautiful together. But Steven was married now, yet for my own sanity I needed to say it out loud to him. I strolled into Steven's room. He was lifeless, tubes coming out of every part of his body. I hated seeing him like this. Weak. Steven wasn't meant to be like this, Steven was meant to be enjoying his new life with his new husband and yet here he was with me sneaking into his room. What if he didn't want me there in the first place? What if... _No. I need to do this._

I sat down in the chair next to his bed, moving it in towards Steven a little so I could take hold of his limp, warm hand. Smiling, I just said _'hello there Steven Hay.' _I believe I was waiting for a response...

Get lost Brendan? Wheres Doug Brendan? I'm trying to sleep Brendan?

Nope. No response. He was in a coma. Steven didn't deserve this, Steven deserved none of this..

'Ye don't deserve this Steven. Ye don't deserve any harm, nothing bad. Ye deserve the best, that's why I pushed ye.. towards Douglas. But the truth is, I was just selfless. Yep me..Brendan Brady selfless. Who would have believed it eh? I did something for somebody else and not for me. I wanted ye, so so bad I did, but ye deserve better than me. That's why I'm leaving Steven. I've came to say bye to ye. I don't trust myself around ye. I know ye wouldn't cheat on Douglas in a million years, but everytime I look at ye I feel... something. Something special inside, ye make me feel alive and that's why I need to go back home. Ye don't need me looking and staring at ye whenever I spot ye.'

That's when I did it. Took off my cross and placed it into Steven's hand. I'd never taken that cross off voluntarily, only when I got arrested in the past, before I'd changed.

'This'll bring ye luck Steven, it's done it's work for me and now ye need it.'

I placed a kiss on his forehead. 'I love ye Steven, no-one can replace you. Never'

I walked out of the room, not looking back just incase I changed my mind...

**Please rate and review. I can't wait for the hospital scenes yay :) & I can't wait for Dublin yay :)**


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